Salutations dear reader,
I am Dr Lucius J Hawthorn, perhaps you’ve heard of me? If not, then no matter, for we will rectify this with a simple introduction.
I am the foremost expert in the pseudo scientific world, having “earned” my credentials from the top psychical and cryptozoological research institutes this side of the observable universe.
From the glistening tundra beyond the artic circle, to the rainforests along the Tropic of Capricorn, I have traveled the world for countless years, examining all manner of mysteries and supernatural shenanigans. I even spent a few years in Alcatraz and emerged relatively unscathed.
Now, I must confess, I have been called many things over the years and most of these cannot be repeated in polite conversation, but those which can include:
- An eccentric quack
- A charlatan
- A compulsive liar with a grandiose sense of self
And although the above may be an accurate portrayal of my character, I ask you – what great thinker is not a little strange?
And now, with the powers of the internet, I have graciously decided to open my files to you, dear reader, so that we may join together and traverse this hellscape we call life. Perhaps we shall find some meaning in it? Perhaps we shall catch a glimpse of what lies beyond our mortal sensibilities for there is truly more than we could ever imagine – be they of horrors or heavens.
And what, pray tell, are the matters we will discuss?
- Ghosts and Ghouls: There’s good reason to fear the darkness, but just what causes a spirit to haunt this mortal plain? From vanishing hitchhikers to pesky poltergeists, we’ll dive into some devious delightful tales of famous haunts from past and present.
- Unsolved Mysteries: Did a talking Mongoose really inhabit a farmhouse on the Isle Of Man? What happened in Tunguska? Will that shabbaroon, Saint Germain, ever return my calls? The world is full of enigmas, let us go forth and explore them together.
- Cryptid Creatures and Folklore: We’ll discuss all manner of weird and wonderful beasties, both corporeal and incorporeal. From theFae Folk of old to the famous friends we all know and love, we’ll burrow deep into the muddy tunnels of legend and maybe spot a goblin or two on the way.
- The Odd True Crime Tale (of which I had no part): Because, as we know, the most monstrous creatures walk among us.
- Spiritualism And Witchcraft: If tipping tables and dancing naked around the bonfire on the full moon sounds like your idea of a dang good time, you’re in the right place. Esoteric mysteries abound!
- Tales from my personal records: I will regale you with the curious tales that I, alone, have had the pleasure of researching. I invite you to peruse the treasure trove of curiosities I have amassed across the years and, over a glass of brandy, I will reveal each of their sordid histories. Their authenticity may be questionable at best, but I dare say you will be entertained.
Keep up to date with all of our bizarre happenings and subscribe to my various channels of “social media”. Feel free to “tweet” or “slide into my DMs” (which I believe is the common vernacular) with cases that pique your interest and I will gladly search my archives for the relevant files.
Let us lift the veil to the unseen world and walk together into the darkness.
Dr LJ Hawthorn
PS, Saint Germain, if you should find yourself reading this, I want my letters back, you strumpet.